Chapter 61:
Loved You
Thin green shoots peek through the piles of smooth rocks, each mound marking a grave. Two months have passed since the battle at the village, when sixty Versillian soldiers lost their lives. Some died at the front lines, others because they approached me when Nomier was in control.
I visit them in the Lystra palace graveyard every Saturday morning. Trevus says I shouldn’t blame myself, but it’s hard not to think about how people would be alive today if I’d made different choices. My decisions hold weight, whether I foresee it or not. I can’t bring them back, but visiting reminds me to be cautious.
“If my queen does not don her regal attire, persons may mistake her for an ordinary citizen,” Trevus calls. He’s walking up the path, clad in his gold-threaded black oban with a thin matching crown.
“I don’t remember having a coronation,” I say.
Trevus closes the distance. “Merely because you refused to attend. I am the king, and you are my wife, thus by extension, the queen.”
I trace his sharp sculpted jaw, his black wavy hair and short stubble with my eyes. A few months ago, I was forgotten in a tower, and now I’m married to a king, with some even calling me ‘Queen’. My desire was always to belong, but noble status was never something I pursued.
“Maybe being mistaken for an ordinary citizen is my intention,” I say.
He rests his hand on my shoulder, turning my attention back towards the grand white palace. “Today you must play the role of queen, or at least the First Versillian. The Mephian delegation shall soon arrive, and a fellow sorceress is more likely to win their cooperation.”
“I’ll attend dinner.” Convincing one of the Six to where julite jewelry will also set my mind at ease – another barrier to keep Nomier contained.
His playful expression turns somber. “There is another reason I came.”
I wait.
“The treaty has yet to be ratified. There is still opportunity to add a stipulation that Mephia arrests Lord Asarus on sight,” Trevus says.
“I don’t want him arrested,” I say.
“If you prefer to meet him on pleasant terms, he may accept an invitation with the royal seal.”
For a long time I imagined my parents had passed on, as if they’d lived, it would mean I’d been abandoned. It’s unnatural for a parent to treat their child with such disregard, but the poisonous ideas in Asarus’s mind laid judgement the moment I was born. If I were to speak with him again, what is even left to say? He believes what he did was necessary to stop Nomier. Of course stopping Nomier is necessary, but instead of trusting his own child, he locked me up like a prisoner. A decade has passed since I was sent to that tower, and he has yet to recognize his cruelty. Why expect that to change now?
“I’d rather just forget,” I say.
Trevus looks over the mounds of stones. “Being a father is more than passing on one’s blood,” he says.
For so long I yearned for a family. But discovering Asarus revealed him to be nothing that I had imagined, nothing like the father I had longed for.
He wasn’t a father that raised me, he wasn’t a father that protected me, and he wasn’t a father that loved me. He wasn’t a father in any way that counted. I raised myself, I fought to protect myself, and I found new love myself. Even if Asarus showed remorse, I don’t think I’d ever want to see him again.
Trevus’s eyes settle on Tytius’s grave. Only once did I hear Trevus call Tytius ‘father’, and that may have been insincere – an attempt to persuade him to spare my life. Two months have passed, and Trevus hasn’t grieved for his father the way he did for his mother. He’s yet to even speak about his feelings towards the man – saying only that the painful-looking scar on his chest was his father’s sole
gift
.
With a hand on my shoulder, Trevus leans my frame against his. He’ll be a better father. He understands the significance.
I head down Lystra’s main road, passing sights that have become familiar – farmers stalls, Bird Street, and Nomier’s grand temple, still standing tall with its array of impressive columns. I keep my eyes far from her stone statue, not wanting to be reminded of the moment I met her on that dark, starless ocean.
The problem with nightmares is that it’s hard to tell what’s real when the monster lives in my head. I’ve taken to sleeping with my pendant. It never leaves my skin.
Trevus concluded that the transition of power would progress smoother without abolishing worship of the long-standing Versillian goddess. The death of the king and two dozen Hunt Unit soldiers was explained as sorcery having a will of its own, which is difficult to rein in without julite. That was a truth Versillians can accept. Hearing it’s the will of Nomier is not.
I turn a corner, and the sight ahead never fails to make me smile – a cozy little wooden storefront tucked between a blacksmith and carpenter. A cute sign hangs over the front door – Jade’s Tailoring.
I unlock the entrance and step inside the little store –
my
little store. Sheets of freshly dyed fabric hang to dry against the back wall, and the shelves hold patched garments ready for collection. The dress I was working on lays draped over a desk – soon to be shown off on a simple T-post mannequin by the window.
I initially declined Trevus’s offer to purchase the first floor of this narrow building, wanting instead to earn it myself. Him pointing out that he’s only making up for the decade I spent locked away convinced me to accept.
The letter I was writing to Tailor Lara in Zaybeth awaits on the corner of my desk. While her replies are sharp, they’re often helpful, teaching how to run a successful store. Since she was also curt in person, I consider it confirmation that she enjoys our correspondence.
I open the windows and prepare the store for today’s customers. My store’s reputation in the city improves day by day. In the beginning many people only came to meet the First Sorceress, but eventually that novelty wore off, and now people come for my aggressively priced stitching work, many having no clue who I am.
Under Trevus’s order, two palace guards watch my store entrance from a hidden post on the opposite side of the street. While I despise the idea of being under a guard’s gaze, risking my safety in turn risks the safety of others, and I’ve learned from our last expedition that it could lead to fatal consequences.
The door opens, and my first customer of the day is a short, elderly, gray-haired woman. Her gait is slow and shaky, her weight supported on a well-worn wooden cane.
I stand and step free of my desk. “Good morning, Mam. How can I be of service?”
She doesn’t answer, her green eyes only flicking up and down my frame, her mouth slightly open as if in deep thought.
“Mam?” I ask.
“Is it truly you?” she finally says.
She must have heard the rumors that the First Versillian Sorceress is a tailor in this district. Occasionally curious people still come by.
“Yes,” I say. “When Versillia is in need, I’m the First Sorceress, but in all other settings, such as this one, I’m a tailor. Now is there any tailoring service I can offer?”
She continues to stare, her eyes wide. I don’t appreciate it. It reminds me of being put on display at Antiock.
“If you don’t need any stitching work, I think it’s best we say goodbye,” I say.
“Is it truly you?” she asks again.
I step around her and head to the door, hoping she’ll follow.
“Jadia?”
My body goes stiff. Only a handful of people know I was once called by that name – Trevus, Giddius, Marcellus, and lastly, Asarus.
My eyes snap to the woman. “Where’d you hear that?”
“Asarus is my little boy,” she says.
Despite having raised someone as cruel as Asarus, her eyes hint at a gentle spirit. Her frame is slightly stooped from age, and the wrinkles on her face hint that she spent many years smiling. This woman is my grandmother.
She takes a step closer, her eyes squinting at mine. “Is it really you, Jadia?”
“If he sent you, your journey was a waste,” I say.
She springs forward and wraps her arms around my frame, making me gasp. “Oh, my precious Jadia, how I have longed to meet you!”
She’s hugging me. How much I longed for a family to show affection when I was confined in that tower. This doesn’t make sense. If this woman was so eager to treat me warmly, why was so much of my life spent in isolation?
She releases her hold, leaning back on her cane and examining me again. “You boast such beauty,” she says. “The last time I laid eyes on you, you had yet to form words.”
She knew me as a baby? How did I end up separated from her, alone in a little nameless village in Mephia? “Why is this our first meeting?” I ask.
“Oh.” Her face turns to a frown. “’Tis not a pleasant story. I dare not speak ill of your father.”
“I know what he’s like,” I say. Not much could lower my opinion further, but I keep that part to myself. “It’s my past too. I should know.”
She adjusts her cane, looking uncomfortable on her feet. I reach around the desk and set out a chair for each of us. She takes a seat, and I sit beside her, my eyes not leaving hers.
“I am Lady Hania,” she says.
“Tell me from the start, Lady Hania.” My eyes betray my eagerness.
She takes a moment to gather her thoughts before speaking. “In her youth, your mother, Livia, boasted fine beauty much like yourself. You share her brunette hair, her small nose, her petite shoulders.”
Livia – that’s my mother’s name. It’s a pretty name, a Versillian name. For so long I was treated poorly due to my Mephian roots – roots that never existed. Both my parents were Versillian.
“She served in Diagomere castle, and her allure did not escape the young lord’s attention. ‘Twas not long before they were infatuated with each other – delighted in every moment they shared, paying little heed to the image of a highborn consorting with a servant.”
“That was Lord Asarus?” I ask. “It’s difficult to imagine such a cold man
delighted
about anything.”
Hania smiles. “He was not always set as you knew him.”
“Something changed?”
“Livia gave birth. A Versillian highborn marrying a servant is improper, so Asarus put aside a treasure to ensure you would live a comfortable childhood in Diagomere.”
“But that’s not what happened.”
Hania casts her gaze down. “’Twas your third year. A maid assigned to your care fell unconscious upon taking your hand. Asarus witnessed it with his own eyes, and ‘twas not long before a second occurrence. After the third incident, Asarus made his decision.
“Asarus’s father, Lord Selarus, studied all that was known of the land of old tongue,” she says. “Asarus inherited his lifetime of knowledge, and a lifetime of paranoia.
“Livia did all within her power to persuade him against your confinement, wishing only to preserve your joy.” Hania sighs. “All that mattered to Asarus was ensuring the containment of the threat he believe dwelled within you.”
My mother fought him. She
did
care.
“Livia fled with you. She trekked for days, venturing across harsh terrain and dense forest, crossing the Merk with you on her back.”
My stomach still tightens remembering my fear when crossing the Merk with Trevus. I had three strong men to help me, and I was still terrified. But my mother crossed it alone with a baby on her back. She crossed it for
me
.
“Asarus was relentless in his pursuit. With Livia’s Versillian voice and lack of coin, she could not hide in Mephia long, but you could. You were a child only learning to speak. Livia encountered a village so insignificant that maps did not bear its name – a perfect sanctuary. She trusted you to their care.”
She said goodbye for my safety. She didn’t want to leave me.
“Asarus refused to relent. Over months he pursued her as she continued east, and she drew him further and further away from you.” Hania pauses.
I wait, silent.
“One can only survive the wilderness so long.”
I look to my knees. I knew she had to have died. But if I was already so sure, why does it still hurt so much?
“She loved you, Jadia.”
Author’s Note:
Thank you for reading and for all your support.
There’s one more bonus chapter still to be released, but it takes place before Jade was born. This was the last chapter with Jade and Trevus. I hope you enjoyed their story. The next chapter is from the perspective of a different character, and it’ll be the final chapter of the book.
I absolutely loved this story I hope I continue to see your writing this was blood brilliant and so well written
I think she’s just so stunned to see her granddaughter after so long…
lmao
Eh only by blood which doesn’t mean that much tbh… he doesn’t deserve the title of ‘father’ for what he did and caused Jade to go through
Yeah, besides people might not believe them with how deeply rooted she is in their society
Exactly!
Yup how to make sure she’s not getting ripped off for the quality of what she’s making and the time and materials she’s putting into it
Oh, it’s about the in public thing. That makes sense considering Versillian society
Yeah he does have some justification… but he’s still a horrible man really to want to lock up a little girl. His own daughter at that.
I wonder how a man can live and breath whilst his child has no fond memories of him😞…a pure waste of oxygen 😡…but I guess without the bad, the good can never be appreciated 🥲. And Jade paved her own path in the end. However, damn you Asarus 🤬🤬
You are simply a great author!!!!
There wasn’t a single chapter in this book that was boring!
I am sooo looking forward to your next book 💜
And from her love, Jadia lived and became queen, so pretty good outcome from such tragedies
Aw, more tragedy
She protected
Though Mephia could have led to a poor outcome, it’s just lucky the poorest outcome was Asarus finding her
Fair enough, of course he’d be paranoid knowing the evils of Nomier
Versilian blooded sorcery
Some families don’t like to speak I’ll in public
that was a while ago now
granmama knows best
She’s desperate for an answer
granmama
mother
Seems she’s being taught how to negotiate costs
Call it an apology gift, for the unfairness of your childhood
The queens tailoring
telling them their goddess was actually cruel and didn’t care for them would be cold and unfair
fair enough
He was a man scared of the truth of the world and desperate to prevent it ending, and decided against killing his own child
Some are so clouded with fears of a ‘what if’ they do cruel things with the hope for the best, to be fair, he could have just killed you
He is her father, maybe not emotionally or mentally
I want that man that says he’s your father
I’m sure they won’t protest, they must feel bad for the lives lost of their people
Or an ordinary tailor
Girl, just let me call you a queen
@rileysing he wasn’t even willing to try and trust his own daughter… that’s a intense amount of paranoia.
@rileysing I’m glad you found it funny.
But for real the societies in this story are really interesting.
😢
Knew it
Grandmother?
Awwww, I love that ❤️
I’m so glad they’re happy now, and at least she knew her mom cared
@rileysing oh so they were just ignorant/oblivious to the situation
It such a sad but sweet story and I’m glad Jade has found her happiness now
He indirectly killed the love of his life… Man Versillains are intense in everything they do
She did it out of love
I knew her mother escaped with her to Maphia, just wasn’t sure of the details
Having inherited a lifetime of paranoia is definitely something I see in that man
So Jade was born with the magic and it came forward around that time
Does that mean Jades parents weren’t the ones caring for her and touching her etc
I thought by ‘lady’ she was also a Nobel but it’s kinda cool that both the king and queen are from mix classed couples